The world has gone crazy
There’s definitely something in the air. The people of the world are vomiting, vomiting all the anger, the hurt, the frustration, the hardship. Tired of being used and tired of being abused, tired of the suffering of the world system.
20 years ago when I was going through an incredibly emotional state of hurt where when I cried it hurt at the core. It felt like I was crying for 20 people, and I asked my spiritual teacher at the time what was happening to me because the hurt is just too much. She told me that for many years I was rock hard, (which was true I use to be called the Ice Queen) and in order for me to move forward or for me to heal God needs to break up my hardened heart and make it fertile before He can grow seeds. Seeds cannot grow on hard soil, it can only grow in soft fertile soul. If my heart is hard, He cannot work with it. If I keep on avoiding the things that happen to me by just ignoring it and not dealing with it, He cannot help me grow. I need to face those things head on no matter how much it hurt. I took the plunge and let it all out and since that day I committed to dealing and confront with things head on. She also told me that you cannot move forward or grow if you have anger, bitterness or hatred in your heart and true forgiveness is when you hurt because you can’t let go if you don’t feel the pain.
I had to forgive, I did not want to but she said, God cannot work with you if you don’t walk in forgiveness and told me just to say it, you don’t have to mean it, just say it! God will do the rest, He will work it in your heart that true forgiveness, forgive those people every day until you know in your heart of hearts and when you feel that pain and that anger, that hatred, that bitterness is gone.
I shared this event in my life because that’s how I am seeing the world right now. People know the world cannot go on like this, people want change! Then there’s a sense, a knowing, a gut feeling that something big is about to happen soon, something of such magnitude that it is going to change the world we live in and somehow for the better. No matter what religion, what belief system you have, you know, you feel it, you sense it.
However, for that something to happen, there has to be an outburst, a letting go of all the hatred, the anger, the hurt, the bitterness, forgive what has been done to you, forgive what’s been done to others and forgive what’s been done to the world, there has to be a true forgiveness. So things have to get worse before it get’s better.
The world is getting too expensive to live in, the abuse the violence is on the increase, resources are becoming less and less, our beautiful world is dying, animals are disappearing. Everyone is experiencing hardships, financially and emotionally even the rich and the middle class, everyone is feeling it and the more governments and systems drain us to line their pockets the worse things will become and the explosion of the human race will be so powerful, it will cause that change to happen.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because I want to tell you this! You need to look after the people who are looking after you. You need to stick together, bond and help each other cope in whichever capacity you can. You need to support those who are trying to make it easier for you and vice versa. It is a time where, when businesses or people have done a kind thing to you, like keeping your service turned on making you a loan or investing in you because they understand times are tough and they trust you enough that you will pay what you owe back. Where people who give of their time for free to help you bring your dream to life because they like you and trust you enough to make good on your promises and if it doesn’t work out everyone knows they tried.
That the people who are there for you, the ones who answer the phone when you call, carry you when you are down, allows you to be you, no judging but love and care about you just the way you are. Those who constantly uplift and give you positive feedback. Those who want to be your friend, and show you by their actions. It’s time to cherish and surround yourself with these people and be yourself. Open up, share, be real about your current situation and tell people the truth so that you can heal, so that you can get the help and the support you need. Cherish these people, they are your lifeline right now. Don’t push them away. Don’t treat them with disrespect. Don’t avoid the people you owe, don’t steal from under them because you are lazy and don’t do your bit. Make an arrangement and stick to it. Communicate. Don’t run away from those who want to be there, who want to be your lifeline. Help them where you can. If you don’t there’s going to come a time when things get so bad and you will be alone with no lifeline left.
Just knowing this, and doing my bit for the ones I love and care about, tells me that we are going to get through this and we will all come out triumphant BUT you have got to do your bit, if you lose that lifeline it’s not going to be ok for you.
Be true to yourself! Be true to others! Honour your word. Keep your promises and if you need to break your promises because of circumstances, have the integrity and take ownership, have the guts to be honest and promise to fix it when you can and communicate to the person whose life you are impacting so it helps them to cope. Go say sorry if you have wronged, go confront the people you feel have wronged you be open for the healing to begin.
You have the right to change your mind but you do not have the right to damage someone else’s life by running and not taking responsibility for your actions.
Our daily bread
Reading this article in the Daily Mail about how foods are getting smaller and smaller I have to say it is something I’ve noticed happening in South Africa. I’ve noticed how the quality of some food products have dropped. I found that Kellogg’s All Bran, Cornflakes and Rice Crispies are revolting to eat. The taste has changed as well as the texture, it is so hard it can hurt your teeth and gums. Then there is toilet paper, that was the very first thing I noticed. You buy soft, and where’s the soft? Fruit and vegetables is well, just pathetic, we export the good stuff and keep the crap for the locals. Eggs are not the same anymore.
Manufacturers are desperately trying to keep prices affordable to the average man on the street but with the rising costs of petrol, electricity and soon to be water, it is getting harder and harder for them to do this. So I would guess that manufacturers try and skim off ingredients or make products smaller but keeping the price the same.
Are they fighting a losing battle? The reality is that the manufacturer cannot fight this battle alone! We the consumers, and as the human race needs to find a solution to stop feeding the pockets of those pulling all the strings.
The reality is that unless we do something we are all going to suffer. It’s already a huge struggle for most families to keep their heads above the water. It’s a huge struggle for most families to make ends meet and they have to resort to working longer hours, taking on second jobs just to keep up with paying the basic necessities such as food, water, electricity and a roof other their heads. Hell, I’m finding it harder these days to maintain a lifestyle I’m use to.
Maybe it’s time to boycott BP who apparently drives the petrol price but would that solve anything? There seems to be this select few worldwide who controls all the wealth while the rest of the world makes them ricer and richer and the average person on the street becomes poorer.
I know this sounds negative but sometimes we have to face the truth or raise an awareness of what is going on before we can find the solution and a solution.
What changes have you noticed? How are the rising costs impacting your day to day living?
Both men and women are guilty
Would it have made a difference if you had someone to turn to?
I was asked this question in an interview the other day and I was so overwhelmed by the event that I gave an answer that was true but also not entirely true as it could make people think that my mom and my gran did not love or care about me. The truth is they did, they loved and cared about me very much but the day my mother became religious and because of how we were raised and how the human race dictated what was “acceptable behaviour” keeping up the appearance meant that I could never really talk to them about the things that were happening to me as a teenager and I never really felt they had my back and by no means was it intentional. My mom and gran were also damaged goods of the human race and they did what they knew best while coping with their own issues.
It all went pear shaped the day I turned 13 and it’s been a roller coaster ride since that day. Now I’m no different to anyone else, in fact I would say that almost everyone has had a form of abuse in one way or another. I also want to say that when I listen to some of the stories that there are a lot of women who have gone through far worse than what I’ve ever experienced. But yes, I’ve been bullied, bee sexually abused and been treated like a second rate citizen.
The question I ask, “where did it all start, where did it start for most women, if not ALL women?”
In my opinion, it begins with society as a whole, and this is the entire planet, not just one country or continent and both men and women are guilty!
- The human race dictates that men are better than women.
- The human race dictates that because you are a woman that you don’t have as much say as a man.
- The human race dictates that because you are a woman and you sleep around or have been raped you are a whore.
- The human race dictates that because you are a woman that you don’t have as much rights as a man.
The human race does this by saying, because you are a woman you must submit to your husband because he is the head, the man incharge. Because you are a woman it’s ok for you to be treated like a sex object. Because you are a woman you must be paid less than a man. Because you are a woman you are not entitled to have the same benefits as men. Because you are a woman you are not allowed to voice your opinions or make decisions.
So how does this thinking, this indoctrination, this conditioning effect us as women?
You behave in a way that makes you weak. You think in a way that makes you feel less of a person. You do things that tells bullies and abusers that its ok to take advantage of you, or you become a tyrant, a hardcore bitch no one wants to be around and you become an abuser.
In a society where the human race still has these beliefs, still enforces these rules and in some countries makes it a way of living. How do you cope? How do you recover to become the person God intended you to be?
- Have a strong support system in place, where you actually feel that no matter what you do, or have done or how you’ve behaved, you are loved. That you are accepted for who you are, both the good and the bad. This helps you gain confidence in yourself and it gives you the strength to face life.
- Re condition your mind, re program your subconscious, change your thought patterns. Rebuild and make personal developmenat a way of life. You can only do this by constantly focussing on the positive and getting the help you need, whether it be NLP, hypnosis, spiritual healing or other methods, find what works for you but the reality is that you have to go deep. How your subconscious mind and body processes information is not how we rationalise it in our thinking.
- Turn to someone and tell them what is going on and choose someone you feel extremely comfortable talking to and make sure the person you choose will actually take action, will change the situation or take you out of the situation because this gives you hope, it gives you that sense of relief that someone stronger than you is helping you fight the battle you don’t feel you have the strength to fight.
- Empower the women around you. Make them feel special, make them feel important and valued. Recognise their contributions, recognise their abilities and constantly tell them how wonderful they are. I cannot begin to tell you just how much this can change a woman’s life. How much you empower someone by doing this. By doing this, you give them strength and hope and makes them feel good about themselves, that they are worth something and it makes them feel valued.
Coming back to the question, “would it have made a difference if you had someone to turn to? The answer is “yes”
The truth is that most women have gone through the same experiences, the truth is that no matter what, we won’t speak about it because of the fear of how the human race will label us.
I want to thank my husband and all those men out there who treat women as equals, who treat women with respect, who treat women as they would treat themselves.
London and UK riots are they justified?
There are people who try to justify the UK riots and say that the youth are frustrated and they have no future and so they have to let it out! They want change.
From my point of view, there is just no justification for burning someone’s house down, for burning someone’s business and livelihood down. I don’t care what your reason is!
If you have an issue with the government then why on earth don’t you go and burn their houses down? Damage their goods and make sure it is the right government the ones who caused the problem in the first place. Quite frankly to me this is not a good justification either but the fact is that the people on the street, the people around us are all in the same boat. They are not the ones who caused this and yet they become the victims of your actions. If WWF can get the world to turn off their lights for one hour then surely there are other ways of dealing with serious issues.
How about taking a stand as a country and stop paying taxes in countries like South Africa because the government misuses tax payers money. Because the government thinks that spending your hard earned money on his big new fancy expensive R65 mil house expansion is justified, and what is Julius Malema spending?
Recently municipal workers in South Africa went on strike for better wages, mmmm 18% is seriously off the wall but would it not be a better solution to go and trash the municipal leaders/governments places instead. Stop collecting their refuse? What difference does it make causing havoc in the cities or not collecting refuse in the suburbs?
If you don’t have your house as you were promised? Why do you continue to vote for the government who made those promises and why don’t you go and squat on their property?
What are your thoughts?
Bro’s before Hoes
Sitting in the lounge with some young people talking about life in general. One of the guys made the statement “bro’s before hoe’s” and I responded that it was a very horrible statement and that statement has caused women tremendous damage.
I started talking about a time in my life when I was in a relationship with a guy who I was very much in love with and how he damaged me because of this attitude. His friends were more important to him than I was. I’m not saying don’t go out with your friends or don’t spend time with them, friends are very important but the attitude of bro’s before ho’s cost our relationship and it also made me more insecure. We had a really good relationship until a particular friend walked in and decided it was party time. When we had plans, I was dropped at the last minute. They would disappear for days at a time and I would not get even so much as a phone call. I was left on the sideline to wonder where, what or how.
One of the young girls listening to what I was saying agreed with me. She said that she was in a relationship and their entire relationship revolved around him and his friends to the point where it affected her too. She said it had caused her a lot of hurt and she felt that what she wanted did not matter, she was also set aside at the last minute when something more interesting came along and eventually she broke up with him.
What both sides don’t realise is the damage this causes women. Guys who do this are inconsiderate and selfish and the women who stay in these relationships can really damage themselves because of the hurt and rejection they feel.
Signs that say he is no good for you:
- You’ve made plans and then you are cast aside when his buddy invites him out
- You don’t get told that he is going out, he just goes off with his friends
- Disappears for days without even so much as a phone call
- You feel rejected and hurt
If you feel this is what’s happening to you and you’ve spoken to him about it and nothing’s changed then it is time to pack your bags and walk away. He is not going to change, he is selfish and honestly he does not value you as a person and does not value your relationship. He does not love you and he is just not that in to you! That is the truth and the sooner you realise this, the better. Don’t think he is going to change or that you can change him. It’s not going to happen! You are there just for his convenience, when he has nothing better to do. The longer you stay in this toxic relationship, the more you are going to get hurt by it.
I know it is difficult to break it off but you have to find the strength to do this for your own sanity. If he really did love you he would not treat you that way. He would be considerate of your feelings and he would treat you as number one in his life. It is hard to accept the truth but if you search deep down you know I’m right.
Start telling yourself that you are valuable and if you were valuable to him he would treat you right. When he goes out with his buddies and leaves you behind, ask yourself “is this what I want?” Is this how I want to be treated? If you feel awful, upset, hurt, angry, is this what you want to have every single time? He is just not worth it!
The circle of life
Katie Melua’s song, The Flood. Broken people get recycled. Sometimes we get thrown off our pathways.
I’ve been recycled, feels like I’ve come full circle. I’ve definitely been thrown off my pathway, got lost for quite sometime but found my way back to the path again. Part of me regrets losing out so much time being lost in the pathway of destruction. Overall I’m grateful to have found my way back again. Grateful that I have friends who love me, a husband who taught me how to love and be loved.
Flying SAA
This is the second time I flew SAA.The first time I flew SAA things were stolen from my luggage. They got another chance because it was down to price and length of flight, mainly length of flight.
They have no leniency whatsoever when it comes to baggage allowance, as soon as you are over your allowance they are very quick to charge per kilo extra unlike other airlines. This is the deciding factor that I will never fly SAA again and they have lost a customer.
They did make up for it in the fact that the food was pleasant, the flight staff friendly and helpful and the leg room on the plane was better than most airlines but they fail on having only one TV screen for people to share, this does not bother me so much as I tent to take a sleepling tablet and off I go to club duvet.
Will I fly SAA again? Based on there over strict policy on baggage allowance, my answer is no. This is extremely important to me as a custmer. 20 kg’s on a long haul flight is nothing.
Do you think they listen to their customers in the social media world?
Somehow I don’t think so.
What’s been your experience?
Did someone make you feel worthless today?
A friend of mine is having a rough time at the moment. Life sometimes can be tough and push us into a corner were we feel like we just can’t do this anymore. This is for you, feel inspired, your day will come. Be strong, and create the life you want. Make your dreams a reality.
I don’t communicate the way you do.
Whilst reading, “Why you can’t project your energy online” by Dr Lisa Turner I realised why it is so important for some people to meet face to face. For me personally it hasn’t been a big issue, in fact I love meeting people online and have great synergies with various people across oceans and continents, where we just click and connect.
Lisa explained that our body language, tone of voice and the way we interact with other people is all part of the bigger picture in us feeling connected and that we feel we don’t really know the person until we meet them face to face. It is a very interesting read.
It finally made sense to me why most people feel it is so important to meet face to face and why they struggle to understand the concept of networking online and that developing any form of interaction with other human beings seems a foreign concept and is unacceptable.
So basically the need for people to meet face to face makes them feel secure in that they know who that someone is and by meeting face to face you would possibly make a judgement on whether they are acceptable to you, or not, by their behaviour and body language. But what about people who are really good at what they do but lack social skills? They don’t necessarily have charisma, don’t have communication skills and rather than attract people they might offend people.
Let’s look at some characters for instance like House on House, Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory, Walter on Fringe, Christina on Greys or Chloe on 24. All these people are exceptionally good at what they do and if you had to meet them face to face you possibly would not hire them for the job or even add them to your network all because they lack social skills and yet they might be the best person for the job. I realise these are just TV characters but how many of us can identify with these characters and have actually met people like these in real life?
I know I definitely lack social skills. I try hard not to be socially weird but the reality is, I am. I tend to live in a world of my own. Come across unfriendly at times. I am blunt. I say things unintentionally sometimes, which tends to offend people and I have no idea that I’ve offended them and often I don’t understand what I’ve done wrong and more often than not people have completely misunderstood me.
Is this my fault, or is it their fault? Actually I would say it is no one’s fault and maybe sometimes we tend to be too over sensitive and too analytic. Just because someone does not communicate the way we do does this imply that they are rude or offensive or is it perhaps that we need to realise that they may just be on a different wave length and do not have the same social skills that you have. Take your average so-called “Geeks.” Although they are brilliant at what they do, they do not necessarily possess good social and communication skills.
Web 2.0 or better known as social media has changed my world. In yesterday’s world if I started a business it would have been a complete failure because of my lack of social skills, inability to market myself or communicate effectively. However, in today’s world starting a business is so much easier because in this online world you can be yourself, and networking is so much easier. So, for the Walter’s, Christina’s Chloe’s and Sheldon’s of this world, it creates new opportunities and possibilities.
I’d like to know if there is anyone else out there who feels like I do, considered socially weird or nutty. I would love to connect with you online. I know there are many people who are really good at what they do but are often misunderstood for lack of social skills and you know what, you’re my kind of person. DM me on Twitter @romanythresher or join me on Better Networking and we can be socially weird together.
Puzzle Pieces
One of my favourite hobbies is building puzzles. I can get lost for hours. I have not done one in a while, this is due to
Thinking about puzzles and looking at one I had built I could see how people are like puzzle pieces. Everyone has their place in the world, their fit, their part. When you build a puzzle you will find pieces which slot in so easily and fit perfectly. There is a synergy, a spark an instant connection. When you meet people like these you find you can chat for hours and hours and talk about anything under the sun. You can even be apart from these people for long periods of time and just pick up where you left off.
Then there are puzzle pieces which sort of well they do fit but it took some time to get them to fit. Perhaps it required a connection of some sort. These are people you meet, you get on with them and become a part of your network, there is no synergy, you both like each other but the magic is not there. You keep in touch and you support each other when you can.
Then there are puzzle pieces which don’t fit at all in a section but actually fit somewhere else. You meet people in your life who you thought you’d get on with but to find out later on that you don’t, you are like oil and water. A lot of the time you end up parting ways and not always in a pleasant way. It does not make any one individual wrong or a bad person, it just means you don’t fit together as part of a puzzle.
Everyone has a place, a set of friends, a group where they fit in. We are all connected to each other, but I believe we all have a place where we fit in to make the connections work. So if there are people who you are not getting on with perhaps your puzzle piece and their puzzle piece just don’t fit. If you do fit, nuture it, build it and make it flourish.
What are your thoughts?
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